Carter Jefferson |
On Dialogue Tags Dialogue tags cause a lot of trouble for beginning writers. This should tell you how to avoid some of the worst pitfalls. Two kinds of dialogue tags exist. One, the ordinary kind, tells us the character spoke. The other, an "action tag," shows who spoke by letting that character perform an action right after she speaks. The usual: "I'm tired," she said. Action tag: "I'm tired." She yawned. You'll find that a lot of good writers do not strictly follow the commandments handed down by the hacks who write how-to books and their followers in critique groups. One commonly-cited "rule" tells you to use only "said" as a dialogue tag. But that's not always right. For example, there's absolutely nothing wrong with this: "I'm sorry," she said gently. I saw that very tag just yesterday in a well-written novel. Yet there are hundreds of how-to books that tell you to eschew adverbs. They're wrong--but be sure the tag you use does the job unobtrusively. The most common problem in using dialogue tags comes when they show the character doing something impossible. Consider this: "I'm not the one with egg on my face," he laughed. One cannot "laugh" a sentence--it's physically impossible. "You're a fool," he sneered. You can't "sneer" words; a sneer is a facial expression. Some words seem to be right on the line. I wouldn't use "he screeched," for example, but I can imagine somebody getting away with it. Another thing that often messes up the rhythm of your prose is the very long tag: "I'm tired," she said, yawning and putting her hand over her mouth while beginning to wander off toward her room, which was situated at the back of the house. You deal with this by keeping the tag short and putting the other information you want to convey into a second sentence, or by using an action tag: "I'm tired," she said. She covered a yawn with her hand and wandered off toward her room, located at the back of the house. Better yet, leave out the "said": "I'm tired." She covered a yawn with her hand, wandered off toward her room, located at the back of the house. Another problem comes up when you use an exclamation point or question mark at the end of a quote, then stick on a dialogue tag: "Help!" she screamed. "Are you there?" he asked. If you read those aloud, you get a sudden stop followed by a change in tone between the quote and the tag, which I don't like. The "Help!" is very loud, followed by a normal-tone tag. The "there?" is said in a rising inflection, which is followed by a stop and a return to a normal level of speech. Given these situations, I always use action tags after those punctuation marks. Format dialogue correctly. Give each speech (not each sentence) a separate paragraph, like this: "Get me a beer," he said. "I'm dying of thirst." "Get it yourself." She turned away abruptly and picked up her book. When a character says more than one sentence, and you're using a dialogue tag, put the tag after the first sentence, as indicated in the example just above. Don't do it this way: "Get me a beer. I'm dying of thirst," he said. Sometimes punctuation goes astray. When you use a standard tag, it's part of the same sentence as the quote, and therefore is separated by a comma, not a period: "I ate it," she said. Not this way: "I ate it." She said. And not this way, either: "I ate it." she said. With an action tag, you end the quote with a period, and then start a new sentence: "I ate it." She began throwing up right then. When you use question marks or exclamation points, the same rules hold, except that the mark takes the place of the comma or period: "I ate it!" she said. Read your sentences and tags carefully. If they make sense, and sound right, they're fine. If one doesn't, use an action tag. Often you can get by with none at all, if it's clear who's speaking. The basic rule, it seems to me, should be, "Don't jar the reader." Don't use something that doesn't make sense, sounds odd, or looks odd on the page, and you'll do fine. I think the "only use 'said'" rule came into existence because if you follow that you're less likely to use something stupid, but, like all the so-called rules in writing, it's a guideline--something to consider, not an inflexible commandment. Best of luck. |
© 2005 Carter Jefferson |
